If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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