Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
