I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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