You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He shit in the fireplace
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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