Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
