i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
