I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
