Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
