I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
