I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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