Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
