You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize