you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
