dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
