How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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