walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
