I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
