About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
