WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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