oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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