people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize