"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
