does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
