i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My vagina is officially offended.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
