we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize