I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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