"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
