just tell him i said nine months
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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