the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
