oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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