I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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