He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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