i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
