i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
