Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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