My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
