I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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