The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
