I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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