Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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