I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
