you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
