Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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