There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is my gift to your gina
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
