just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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