I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
