the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
