If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
