The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
