I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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