just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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