i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
