i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
