So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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