I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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