i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
