420 ftw
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize