Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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