You really coming over, don't trick.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
