So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize