why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
