is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
