I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
